Ronald Bilius Weasley was two things, according to the woman he called the love of his life at least twice a day: A tactical genius and a complete bloody moron.
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive WarningsHermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley (past)Hermione Granger Draco Malfoy Harry Potter Ginny Weasley Ron WeasleyUnplanned Pregnancy Don’t fuck with people’s contraceptives Slow Build But starts with a bang LITERALLY Ron is… Ron Harry is a champ Ginny is clearly related to the Twins Draco just doing his thing Hermione is Done minor ron/hermione Dramione endgame Drunken hookup Ron Weasley Bashing
Ronald Bilius Weasley was two things, according to the woman he called the love of his life at least twice a day: A tactical genius and a complete bloody moron.Scowling at the tiny phial sitting mostly empty in front of her on the bathroom sink of their cosy little flat, Hermione Granger added one more item to that list.Ex.-Ron’s monumental cock up leaves Hermione pissed off, pissed, and accepting a drink from Draco Malfoy. If only that was all she accepted.
This will most likely update quite sporadically, sorry!,Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.),Notes:
Decided to start posting something else while I work on tweaking the next couple of chapters on Silvery Light. Hope you all enjoy this just as much 🙂
Chapter 1: Week Zero
Ronald Bilius Weasley was two things, according to the woman he called the love of his life at least twice a day: A tactical genius and a complete bloody moron.Scowling at the tiny phial sitting mostly empty in front of her on the bathroom sink of their cosy little flat, Hermione Granger added one more item to that list.Ex.-When Ron bounced through the Floo in high spirits from being called in to consult with his favourite Quidditch team on tactics again, mud dripping carelessly off his trousers and a wide smile on his face, he didn’t even notice his girlfriend’s stiff posture and lack of return greeting. Hermione sat in stony silence as he nattered on about how the Cannons had a real chance this season, love. Might even take a few days off from Wheezes to help them train again next week. George won’t mind. Eventually her complete silence and lack of movement penetrated Ron’s head and poked his head out of their bedroom with his ginger hair in disarray from pulling his shirt over his head.“Uh, you right there, Mione?” He asked, his eyebrows raised as though he had no idea what could have possibly annoyed her.Hermione stood stiffly from her seat at the kitchen table and walked over to where Ron was standing, then held out her hand to reveal the tiny glass vial in it. “Tell me, Ronald, do you know why my contraceptive suddenly tastes like mint instead of oranges?”Ron paled, and Hermione took a certain vindictive pleasure in the way that he visibly gulped down his fear. “Uh, maybe the apothecary changed recipes?” He offered, an attempt at his usual easy smile sitting ill on his pasty face. The sweat dotting his brow had nothing to do with the quidditch training, and everything to do with the vial in her hand.“Interesting theory.” She dangled the vial between two fingers and inspected the contents, which was the appropriate shade of sunshine yellow, except with a barely noticeable peach shimmer that shouldn’t have been there. “Except you missed one tiny detail.”Ron shrank back from her, his hands twitching nervously. “O-Oh?”Hermione smiled like a drawn sword, all sharp edges and lethality. “I brew my own.” Hermione narrowed her eyes at the man in front of her. “Now, interestingly, I also happen to know of another potion that looks just like my usual contraceptive potion. And wouldn’t you know, it tastes like mint. Do you know of such a potion, Ronald?” Umbridge would have been proud of how sickly sweet and menacing Hermione’s tone was.Cringing away from his tiny, but frankly bloody terrifying, girlfriend Ronald looked around for where the bloody hell he’d left his wand while trying, and failing, to hide his frantic search from Hermione. “I- uh… I’ve never been great at potions Mione. You know that.” He said with a nervous chuckle, finally spotting his wand lying uselessly on the table. Hermione was between him and it, and his palms began to sweat.Hermione bared her teeth at him. “Razorano Pole, Ronald. The Ploughed Field potion. Which is-“ She tilted the vial between them, examining the viscosity of the potion contained therein. “Four times more concentrated than it should be from the looks of it. Did you really think that I wouldn’t notice you’d swapped my contraceptive for a bloody fertility potion?”Not able to deny any longer, Ron slumped back to sit on their bed and hung his head. “I’m know, I’m an idiot ‘Mione… I just- I was so upset by the other day, y’know.”Hermione threw the vial at him. “You mean last week when you hijacked my twenty first birthday party to declare that we would be getting married soon and forgot to ask me about my opinions on the matter? Or the next day when you told me it wasn’t a big deal because we’d need to get married soon so we could have kids before I got too invested in my career and had to leave it behind to stay home and raise them?” She hissed at him indignantly, her hair getting frizzier by the moment as her fury mounted.Ron had nothing to say to that, and just stared at her helplessly.Hermione bit both of her lips and looked at the wall, blinking back the furious tears that threatened to spill over. “I want you out.”Ron shot up and desperately reached for her, nearly catching her by the shoulders before she slid under his arms and retreated into the main living area of their flat, further away from him. “No! I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have done it, I know! I promise I’ll never do something like that again. I just thought if we had a kid you’d see that it was a good thing and we could make a life together!”Hermione wiped the single tear that had escaped her iron clad control off her cheek and turned away from him. “We were building a life together, Ronald. But you were too selfish to see it that way unless it was the way you wanted. You never cared enough about me to let me be what I wanted to be before we settled down to do what you wanted, and now there is no future.” Hermione pointed to the couch, where a small brown leather bag was sitting ominously in the exact middle of the cushions. “That has all of your things in it. I don’t want to see you again for a very long time, Ronald. If ever.”Ron looked between his girlfriend’s tense shoulders and the bag, and for once chose not to be stubborn about it. He quietly picked up the pack and looked inside to see it did indeed contain everything he owned in its magically expanded insides. With tears blurring his vision, he fumbled with the Floo powder.Hermione’s quiet voice stopped him before he could throw the powder in the grate and he turned back around hopefully. “Ron? You might want to avoid Grimmauld, I already told Harry.”Realising that his stupid decision had probably cost him the woman he loved and his best friend in one fell swoop, Ron felt a sob claw its way up his throat. “F-For what it’s worth, I was planning to swap the potions back today.”Hermione’s face was utterly blank as she stared out the window overlooking the busy park they lived above. “No you weren’t. Now please go.”Defeated and broken hearted, Ron called out for the Burrow and disappeared into the emerald flames.-Hermione was well and truly on her way to being trashed by the time her privacy charms failed and someone slid into the chair opposite hers at the Hogs Head.“Never thought I’d see you getting pissed on a Tuesday night, Granger.” The familiar drawl brought Hermione’s attention from her mostly empty glass of firewhiskey to the man wearing a dark grey hoodie and depositing another glass next to the one in her hand. “Shouldn’t you be off fixing the worlds ills and sins? Or maybe celebrating your engagement to the Weasel? Congratulations on that by the way.” His sarcasm was a tangible thing as he lounged back in the chair and sipped from his own glass.Hermione scowled at Malfoy, but accepted the glass anyway. She was drunk and miserable, may as well be more of both. “No engagement. Ronald forgot the most important part of getting engaged.”Malfoy raised one perfect eyebrow. “Oh?”“Yeah, asking whether or not I actually wanted to get hitched yet.” Hermione slurred a little, decided she needed to be slurring a lot more and slammed back the fresh glass in one shot.“Merlin, what an idiot. No offense to you, Granger, but it makes me seriously question your taste in men that you’re still with the Ginger Twit.” Draco sniggered and signalled Aberforth for two more firewhiskeys, finishing his own drink as he did so. Hermione squinted at him and realised that from the glassy look in his grey eyes and the pink flush dusting the bridge of his sharp nose that he was probably nearly as trashed as her.“Not still with him. Hence the lonely bender at…” She checked her wristwatch, which took a satisfyingly long time to focus on. “Seven pm on a Tuesday. I kicked him out this afternoon.”“Good.” Malfoy accepted the new glasses floated over by a scowling Aberforth without even turning to look before pressing one into her hands. “A toast then, to moving on from morons who could never hope to be good enough for you.” He smirked at he as he held his glass out to her, a challenge in his eyes.Clinking her glass against his, Hermione laughed a little too loud. “Careful Malfoy, that almost sounded like a compliment.”Malfoy scoffed and downed half his drink. “Of course Weasley could never have been on your level, Granger.” He smirked at her, and she noted that the way his eyes crinkled a little at the corners softened it from the nasty expression she was more familiar with from him, bringing her in on his joke rather than making her the butt of it. “That said; it’d be pretty hard for any man to be on your level.”Hermione chuckled and sipped her drink, feeling pleasantly warm and amused by Malfoy’s banter. “Oh, and who would be? You?” She arched a brow at him and hoped she didn’t look too gormless as she did.Malfoy threw his head back and roared with laughter. “Merlin no. I’m pretty much bottom of that barrel these days Granger. I’ve got money, but aside from that I’m just a failed Death Eater with a very big house.”Grinning at him, Hermione slanted her glass in his direction. “Well, so long as you know your place.”Malfoy smiled the first genuine smile she’d ever seen on his face. “Not likely to, Granger. Now in my big empty house I have a big full cellar. How about I gift you a bottle of something to celebrate your newfound freedom?”Hermione peered into the mouthful of amber liquid at the bottom of her glass in search of answers. “Yeah, alright.” She shrugged and tossed back the last bit of her drink. “Lead on Malfoy.” She stumbled a little as she stood, and Malfoy caught her elbow to steady her. Though he wasn’t much better off and stubbed his toe on the next step.“Ah fuck!” He frowned at the table leg like it had personally offended him then started weaving his way over to the bar. “Gimme a minute to settle the tab and then we can floo there.”While Hermione waited for Malfoy to settle his tab, she sauntered over to the hearth and smiled weakly at the portrait of Ariana. “Hullo Ariana, hope your day’s been better than mine.” The portrait just smiled at her then pointed one painted finger at the Floo powder jar and the pouch to drop a knut in if you took some. Hermione dropped in a knut for both her and Malfoy then grabbed a rough handful of Floo powder just as he wandered back over to her.“Alright, let’s go see what stupidly expensive alcohol I’ve got lying around, shall we?” Malfoy took his own handful of glittering powder and threw it into the grate. “Malfoy Manor, East Wing.” He smirked at her as he stepped into the green fire. “See you in a tick.”Hermione didn’t bother with wondering just how bad a decision she was making, following her childhood bully to the place she’d been tortured in front of him on nothing more than the nebulous promise of some pricey booze. She just threw her handful into the fire and followed him through.-Hermione groaned and tried to cover her eyes to protect them from the sun, which must have been feeling particularly vindictive today because it was shining right into her hungover face.Poking the warm body next to her, she burrowed further under her pillow. “Ron, close the bloody curtains.” She grumbled, trying to remember if they had any hangover cure left after Ron’s last big night out with the boys.“Ugh, please don’t call me that.”Hermione shrieked and threw herself away from the voice, landing with a painful thud on the floor below the bed.Malfoy’s snickering face appeared over the edge of the bed as she lay on the floor. “Morning Granger. Hangover aside, this is a nice way to wake up.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her and extended a hand to help her up, wincing when the action jostled his head. “Oh Merlin, I feel like I’ve been trampled by a whole bloody herd of Abraxans. Hang on a minute, I’ve got some hangover potions in the bathroom, let me go get them.”Hermione clutched the blanket to her chest once Malfoy had helped her up onto the bed. When he stood up and stretched she realised that they were both as naked as the day they were born. She could only see Malfoy’s back- and honestly quite spectacular arse- but the view as he wandered to the door across the room was enough to consume her whole face in a blush and make her look away. She barely even noticed the dark grey smudge that had been his Dark Mark because she was too busy trying not to watch the muscles of his back shift with his every movement.Malfoy had filled out since she last saw him, though she guessed that wouldn’t have been hard as the last time she’d seen him had been at his trial less than a month after the war had ended. He’d chosen not to return to school after her and Harry’s testimonies got him all but fully acquitted, doing his NEWTs by correspondence instead. Then he’d basically vanished into the Manor and she’d seen neither hide nor hair of him in over a year.“Here.” Malfoy dangled the little glass vial of red potion in front of her face, and something about the action ignited her memory.Hermione’s head whipped around, and not even her pounding hangover could override her mounting horror. “Malfoy… Did we have sex last night?” She knew the answer, but held out hope that it was some sort of extremely realistic dream.Malfoy snagged a pair of shorts from the armoire at the end of the bed and tugged them over his long legs. “Well, the details are a little fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure that after we downed half a bottle of my father’s prize rum you said, and I quote, ‘Want to really piss Ron off with me?’ Then climbed into my lap and started snogging me.”Hermione’s jaw dropped. “Oh no.” She breathed.Malfoy crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s not that bad Granger. We had a one night stand, nothing to get your knickers in a twist about.”Hermione blindly downed the potion in her hand, she needed a clear head for this. “No, you don’t understand. Did I tell you why I broke up with Ron yesterday?”Malfoy frowned at her and dropped his arms with a wary expression. “Because he pronounced the pair of you to be engaged without asking you, right?”Hermione felt the potion clear her head and squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t look at Malfoy for this. “No. I broke up with him because he swapped my contraceptive potion for Razorano Pole. I drank the equivalent of three doses in one shot yesterday before I realised.”