Fanfic: Luna Lovegood and The War on Christmas by angelholme (Free to read, 564,411Clicks)


Following a visit to The Winter Wonderland in their home town, Luna and Hermione realise that something bad is coming — that soon they will be fighting the war on Christmas.


No Archive Warnings ApplyHermione Granger/Luna Lovegood Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Anna/Kristoff (Disney) Elsa/Lucy PevensieHermione Granger Luna Lovegood Draco Malfoy Harry Potter Anna (Disney) Elsa (Disney) Kristoff (Disney) Sven (Disney: Frozen) Lucy Pevensie Susan Pevensie Edmund Pevensie Peter PevensieCrack Christmas Crack Crossover Alternate Universe



Following a visit to The Winter Wonderland in their home town, Luna and Hermione realise that something bad is coming — that soon they will be fighting the war on Christmas.



Hermione & Luna (et al) belong to J K Rowling.
Elsa, Anna & Hans (et al) belong to Disney.
Lucy, Susan (et al) belong to C S Lewis.
Any other characters I might introduce belong to their original owners (they will be specified in the notes at the end of the chapters they might be introduced in).


I realised this morning I have not written enough crack fic in recent times, and that since I didn’t take part in NaNo I would write a Christmas fic to make up for it.
It is also a fic I am going to be more or less making up as I go along — I have a vague idea of the plot, but for the most part I will be improvising and just writing it as it comes to me.
I will also be trying to write one chapter per night — so they might not be all that long (500 — 1000 words or so).
I am hoping to finish it by Christmas, so we shall see.
Finally — since it is crack, you will probably be able to guess I am not going to put much thought into the back story. So don’t think too hard about it because I suspect there will be quite a lot of holes that I just won’t be bothered to fix.

Chapter 1: The Winter Festival

Chapter Text
Hermione Lovegood looked down the length of the high street, then turned and smiled at the sight of her wife and two children making their way through the snow.
“You look like a trio of angels, my darlings” She said, walking back towards them.
“Why thank you, my love” Luna replied, giving her a bright smile, then she looked down at their son and daughter “Dray and James both want to see Santa, and then after that they would both like to try the sleigh-carts”
“I think we can probably arrange that, but first there is something else we have to do” She reached out and took her daughter’s hand “Dray and I are going to go around the stalls to buy some presents, and if you and James could do the same, then we can meet at the other end of the street — at Santa’s grotto — and go from there”
“Sounds like a plan, dear one” Luna grinned. She took her son’s hand, and together they walked off down the right hand side of the street. Hermione let a soft smile cross her face, then looked down at her daughter.
“Come along, Dray sweetheart, we have to do some shopping” She said.
“Yes, mother” Drayana Lovegood replied, then she and her mother walked over to the left side of the street and started looking at some of the stalls.
“My Queen — there is a message from your sister”
An hour later, Luna and James — carrying five bags between them — walked down towards the area where Santa’s grotto was set up to find Hermione and Drayana already waiting for there talking to another family.
“UNCLE DRACO!! UNCLE HARRY!!” James pulled his hand out of Luna’s and bolted towards the two men stood talking to Hermione. Luna rolled her eyes, then continued walking — at a slightly more sedate pace — towards the group.
“Hey squirt” Draco said, turning and then sweeping James up into a hug “How you doing?”
“We bought your present” James said “And presents for Uncle Harry, for Selene and for Ione” He paused “But I can’t tell you what they are — Mum said they have to be a surprise”
“Well your mum is right” Harry grinned “We’re also here to do some shopping, and to take the girls to meet Santa”
“That’s what we’re going to do!” Drayana smiled “Would you like to come with us?”
“If your mother and mum don’t mind?” Draco looked over at Hermione “If we won’t be intruding on your family time?”
“Mister Malfoy — you and your family are always welcome to join us” She replied, then looked at Harry “That goes for you too, Mister Malfoy” Harry smiled back.
“You always smile far too much when you say that” He said with a laugh.
“I know” She shrugged “But that is no doubt a topic for another time, because I think if we don’t take these four little rabble rousers to meet Santa in the next five minutes, then it will not end well for us” She looked at the four children, all of whom had the same wicked smile on their face.
“I take your point” Harry laughed “Onward!! To Santa!!”
“To Santa!!” The others replied.
“Commander — I have to go out for a while. I don’t know when I will return”
Half an hour later, Harry and Hermione took the kids off to the sleigh karts and Draco and Luna went over to the cafe for a warm drink.
“So what are your plans for Christmas?” Draco asked. Luna opened her mouth, then she blinked in surprise and closed it again without replying. She stared at him for a moment, then opened her mouth again before closing it again without replying.
“Shall I start with an easier question, like what is the meaning of life?” He suggested. Luna rolled her eyes.
“I was just going to say that I think our plans for Christmas might be….. harder to work out than we first thought” She replied “Although I’m not quite sure why”
The Queen walked though the mountain camp, and then ducked into the tent.
“Sister of mine — you summoned me?” She said with a bright smile — a smile that faded as soon as her sister turned to face her.
“Yes, your majesty” Her sister rose, then walked over to stand in front of her “I am very, very sorry to tell you this but…….. he’s free”

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