Description: After surviving the first war, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are doing well. They have seen mind healers, become Hogwarts professors and are successfully raising their godson with the help of Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadows. After much self realization and planning, they have decided to grow their family with the help of healer/OBGYN Marlene.Meanwhile, while Peter Pettigrew rots in Azkaban, Lucius Malfoy and Barty Crouch Jr. seek to find their lost master as tensions and war brews.
Characters: No Archive Warnings ApplySirius Black/Remus LupinSirius Black Remus Lupin Marlene McKinnon Harry Potter Original CharactersTrans Male Character Trans Sirius Black Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Raise Harry Potter Sirius Black & Marlene McKinnon Friendship Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin Professors Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Trans Pregnancy Second Wizarding War with Voldemort (Harry Potter) Alternate Universe – Canon Divergence Healer Marlene McKinnon 1990s Domestic Fluff Angst and Hurt/Comfort Fix-It of Sorts Family Dynamics
After surviving the first war, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are doing well. They have seen mind healers, become Hogwarts professors and are successfully raising their godson with the help of Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadows. After much self realization and planning, they have decided to grow their family with the help of healer/OBGYN Marlene.Meanwhile, while Peter Pettigrew rots in Azkaban, Lucius Malfoy and Barty Crouch Jr. seek to find their lost master as tensions and war brews.
This chapter contains descriptions of medical procedures as will this fic. Also please note for Sirius’ body Marlene uses medical terms. Upon research I discovered that there is no single correct answer as to how trans masculine people think and feel about their bodies. If this is offensive to you, I am sorry. I had to make a choice as to how Sirius would feel about his body and am trying to write this story as respectfully as possible.
(See the end of the work for more notes.),Notes:
This is my first fic. I saw a similar head cannon on TikTok and couldn’t get the idea out of my head. These characters deserved so much better and I am having an absolute blast writing them living, thriving, and being fairly healthy adults. Please let me know your thoughts!
Chapter 1: July 22, 1993- The Beginning
July 22, 1993
Marlene McKinnon walked into her second home, her pride and joy. The Lily Evans-Potter clinic of Obstetrics and Gynecology opened in September of 1986, just three months after her graduation from medical school. Following the first war, she could handle no more violence after losing two of her best friends and her entire family except for her brother to the war. For the years spent as a healer for the Order and then at St. Mungo¡¯s, she realized that wizarding healing was severely lacking, especially when it came to OBGYN issues. So, Muggle medical school it was.
After many years of blood, sweat, and tears, the clinic was born. It was a quaint brick building in the middle of Soho, unassuming and covered in ivy. Inside it was magically expanded to be a fully functioning boutique hospital with a full operating room and all other facilities needed to provide full services to magical birthing people, their babies, and their partners, regardless of identity.
Marlene approached the welcome desk and set down a mocha latte.
¡°Hi Marlene,¡± said the small woman wearing ripped jeans and a little mermaid shirt as she accepted the latte. She had a shaved head and heart-shaped glasses. ¡°Phone call for you. I think it’s your friend you told us about.”
¡°Thanks, Jen,¡± she replied while taking the phone. ¡°Hello, Dr. McKinnon speaking.¡±
¡°McKinnon, are you busy? Can I come in? It’s urgent. Harry is at Quidditch Camp until tomorrow and Moony is at that swotty conference in Oxford until tonight. Anyway. I-I-I-I¡¯m late, I puked this morning, I¡¯ve been kind of nauseous and tired for a few days. I went to Tesco. I took five tests and got five positives. OH MY GOD-” Sirius trailed off.
¡°Jesus fucking Christ, Black. First of all, it¡¯s eight in the fucking morning. Second of all, no, I am not busy, come through the floo whenever and third of all, how the actual fuck did you generate enough piss for FIVE pregnancy tests?¡± Marlene said while chuckling to herself.
¡°Chugged a flagon of pumpkin juice. Had a day to myself. I kind of suspected when I woke up sick, and honestly, for a little while longer. It’s been so busy this summer with the end of term, going to that concert with you, Moony, and Dorcas, and the New York trip. Anyway, I¡¯m late, really fucking late. I was supposed to start three weeks ago, but you know how unpredictable I am, and I didn¡¯t want to get my hopes up again and, oh god, I had drinks in New York and a puff of Moony¡¯s fag that same night. I-Oh god-”
¡°Sirius, breathe in. Okay good, now breathe out. Slowly. Okay, good. Come through the floo. It’s Saturday, I¡¯m free unless something crazy happens.¡±
Not two minutes later a very frantic looking Sirius Black stepped into the fireplace in a flash of green. His wand held his black wavy hair in a messy bun and he wore high-waisted, acid washed jeans and Remus¡¯s dark grey sweater. Rainbow pride socks were artfully folded over the top of his Doc Martens. He ran to Marlene clutching five sticks of various sizes and shapes so hard his knuckles were turning white.
Amused, Marlene turned to him and gently pried the tests from his fingers. ¡°That was fast, and Jesus Christ you actually took FIVE! Shit, okay, let’s head back and have a chat.¡±
Marlene gently guided Sirius down the cozy hallway. It didn¡¯t look like a normal hospital. It was all warm wood, a calming blue paint was on the walls and the hallway was lit with soft light. She opened a door into an exam room and gently offered a seat on the bed.
¡°Ok, no pleasantries. It never was our style. Let¡¯s get to the point,¡± she said to an increasingly panicked Sirius. She summoned a glass of water and some crackers and sat next to him. ¡°Okay love, there’s no need for that. It’s okay, you¡¯re okay. You¡¯re safe. No one here hates you- I know that’s what you¡¯re thinking. No one will judge you. You’re okay. I know it’s a lot, but I promise you’re okay no matter what happens. You’re feeling a lot. I know how much you want this and you’re going through every little thing you¡¯ve done in the past, but I need you to focus. Have some deep calming breaths and some water. You’re fine, you’re in control.¡±
After a few minutes the water was gone and Sirius was gingerly nibbling a cracker. When his breathing returned to normal, Marlene spoke,
¡°Okay, let’s start with your history. We¡¯ve got a lot to get through, but some of this we already have in your file from when you went off your testosterone injections and we took that IUD coil out. So, we¡¯ve gotten your basic family medical history. Nothing genetic, no high blood pressure, heart attacks, and yours and Remus¡¯ genetic screenings were both negative for everything, so let’s move on to you. I¡¯ll start with your general health history and then we can move on to your gynecological history and the reason you came in. I¡¯ve got in your chart just a few things, anemia, your chest surgery in ¡®78, and nerve pain from your exposure to the cruciatus curse. Am I missing anything?¡±
¡°Err, quidditch and war injuries? Those aren’t relevant right? I have broken my ankle a few times, and there’s the PTSD, anxiety, and the therapy. And the as needed Xanax, which amazingly, I haven’t needed in a year. Can that hurt me? Oh god I-¡±
¡°You¡¯re ok. Calm down, we¡¯re just talking. We don¡¯t even know yet, but if it’s been that long, then no. We talked about this when you first started trying, remember? Let’s move on to your OBGYN history. I know this is hard, are you ok?¡±
¡°I¡¯m fine, Marls. I chose to do this, I knew I’d be talking about this.¡±
¡°I know, but I just want to make sure you’re comfortable. You can want something and have a hard time. Just remember you¡¯re in control here. And just for the record, you are one of the bravest Gryffindors I know,¡± she said as she squeezed his hand.
Sirius squeezed back with shining eyes.
¡°Okay, so how have your periods been since they started back? Regular? Heavy? And do you know when the first day of your last one was?¡±
¡°So, they haven¡¯t been super regular but you said that’s normal, they have been awful. Cramps and so heavy, like, holy shit. I started June 1. It was right around exam time and the full moon. Bloody awful- no pun intended. Moony put warming charms on me,” he said with a loving smile.
¡°How sweet, So, based on what you’re saying, you¡¯re about three weeks late, which is definitely abnormal. Let’s have a look at those tests and go from there.¡±
As she examined the tests, she couldn¡¯t help but smile to herself. She then said, ¡°First of all, I¡¯ll confirm your pregnancy, which seems obvious with how dark these test lines are. I¡¯ll introduce you to Jen, she¡¯s one of my nurses and our mental health specialist, who will get a sample of your blood and urine- I¡¯ve made everyone aware of you, your identity, and situation. It’s all good. After that, we will go back for a pelvic exam, pap test and an internal ultrasound. I¡¯ve charmed my equipment, so we don¡¯t need to plug it in. We can do everything in the same room. I find it makes it easier. You just take your clothes off once.¡±
¡°Jesus, ok. Is this real? I want this so fucking bad, Marls.¡±
¡°I know, let’s go.¡± She led him back to the lobby where the small woman was waiting with a huge smile on her face.
¡°Hi Marlene! Hi Sirius! I¡¯m Jen. I¡¯ve heard so much about you and I’m so happy to finally meet you!¡±
¡°Erm Hi. Sorry, I know I¡¯m being cold, I¡¯ve got a lot going on,¡± Sirius said while picking at his cuticles.
¡°Alright love, let’s get your labs done and wait for the results. After we get everything done, I¡¯ll take you back to the exam room to wait for Marlene.
A few minutes later after being weighed, peeing in a cup, and getting several phials of blood taken, Sirius sat at the end of the table. A charmed warm sheet covered his lower half and he was fiddling with a loose thread on the cuff of the sweater and swinging his feet. He couldn¡¯t think. His heart was racing. He and Remus talked about this. They meticulously planned it. Growing up assigned female in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, heirs were expected. They were a given. The thought of children and carrying his own had always been a dream, a vague one. A fantasy of creating a life with someone actually kind and not arranged. Someone he actually loved. This dream was all but given up the night he drunkenly cried in Marlene¡¯s and James¡¯ arms, confessing he could never be who he was.
It was impossible, so he thought.
It was quite ironic really. An old magic, older than his parents¡¯ bigotry, gave him so much power to change society. Then Marlene¡¯s brilliant kid brother Nigel, studying in San Francisco, discovered that the disease of lycanthropy was not genetic, though some of the improved hearing, sight, and magic could be passed to offspring. Remus was ecstatic when Sirius brought up the idea- confessing he always wanted his own children but had been too scared to entertain the idea.
They had been trying for so long. Almost six months.
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Followed by Marlene grinning from ear to ear.
¡°Well? McKinnon, please tell me¡±
¡°Congratulations Sirius, you¡¯re pregnant!¡±
His eyes went wide. His hand instinctively traveled to his still flat belly, his eyes filled with tears and he couldn¡¯t stop smiling.
¡°I, oh my god. It’s possible. Its really fucking possible. I was about to give up. This is real. Holy shit I’m going to be a dad,¡± he whispered.
¡°Yeah, now let’s check you out. Once we get this pelvic done, we can look at the baby, see how far along you are and calculate the due date.¡± Marlene smiled and conjured stirrups onto the table.
¡°Oh bloody hell. Shit I knew this would be a part of this but god I hate it.¡±
¡°You¡¯re okay. If you need me to stop just tell me, no questions asked. You¡¯re always safe and in control. I¡¯ll just have you lie back and put your feet up.There you go. I know it’s awkward, scoot down and let your knees fall out. Nice socks by the way.¡±
¡°McKinnon, you are literally face first in my bits and you¡¯re commenting on my socks. Good lord. I got them at pride and just threw them on. Is it good luck? Oh shit you¡¯re touching me. Oh okay. Can we talk about something else?¡±
¡°Yeah, how¡¯s Harry? Sirius, breathe, I¡¯m just getting a sample of cervical cells to make sure there are no abnormalities. Just a pinch okay? All done. Now I¡¯m just doing an exam. The party is next week at 7 in the Hogsmeade house, right? And I¡¯m all done. Everything looks good. Cervix looks good. Your uterus is a little tilted back but it should be fine. Your pelvis is a bit narrow but we will keep an eye on it. I¡¯m not too worried about it. You¡¯re 5¡¯11. You have the height to support it. Do you want to see the baby?¡± Marlene said as she lowered the sheet
¡°Yes! I¡¯ll just put my clothes back on?¡±
¡°Not quite love, this first one is internal. It¡¯ll let me see everything easier,¡± she said as she changed her gloves, charmed the lights off, and took out a terrifyingly long probe.
¡°What the fuck is that? Please tell me it at least vibrates.¡±
¡°Black, I swear to god- I¡¯ll choose to ignore that one! It¡¯s a vaginal ultrasound probe. Since you¡¯re in early pregnancy, your uterus is tucked behind your pelvis and this probe allows me to get closer to it. Okay, same thing as before just lie back and relax your knees as best you can. Oh, and don¡¯t worry. It¡¯s soft and only actually goes in a few inches but it may be a bit uncomfortable. Why don¡¯t you tell me about Harry¡¯s party and take some deep breaths, yeah?¡±
¡°Okay, it¡¯s at the Hogsmeade house next Saturday at 7. We are doing Molly Weasley food for it. Harry wants a treacle tart instead of a- ah oh ew¡±
¡°I know, just breathe. You¡¯re tensing up. Let your knees fall out like before. You¡¯re doing great. Just a bit of pressure. Oh there! Look to your right! Do you see that white blob in the middle of the darker one? The dark blob is your uterus. That white blob is the embryo. From what I can see you¡¯re about 7 weeks. The baby looks good and is the size of a blueberry! Let¡¯s see if I can hear a heartbeat. It¡¯s sometimes hard to tell when it¡¯s this early. Let¡¯s see.¡± She stopped talking as a strange whooshing sound filled the room.
¡°Oh my god, is that it?¡± Sirius breathed as his eyes filled with tears
¡°Yes! Congratulations love, I know it¡¯s been rough but yes! Let me print these pictures and then you can get dressed. While I do that, I¡¯ll go over some care instructions.¡± She said as she adjusted the probe and captured the images and set them to print.
¡°Okay; so obviously stop any alcohol but you¡¯ve been pretty strict on that, no soft cheeses, raw or undercooked meat or fish, and no cold meats. Yes, unfortunately this means no sushi! These can harbor harmful bacteria that could lead to miscarriage. Stick to veggie rolls! Your nausea may increase and you will probably be tired and dizzy. You probably won¡¯t feel any chest tenderness since your glands were removed during your top surgery. Your blood volume will increase dramatically during these next weeks. You can keep running if you feel like it but listen to your body. You¡¯re growing a human! That takes a lot. I want you to start a prenatal vitamin and an iron supplement, yours is a bit low. Oh and caffeine. Try to keep it under 300 mg a day. That¡¯s about one cup of coffee. Ideally you would stop completely, but you teach teenagers for a living and that¡¯s unrealistic and cruel. From the date of your last period I¡¯m calculating that you¡¯re due around March 8!¡±
¡°Holy shit. Oh my god. That¡¯s two days before Moony¡¯s birthday. How likely is a miscarriage? I can¡¯t, oh shit,¡± Sirius asked while tugging on a boot.
¡°Well, it is most common in the first trimester but we will keep a good eye on you. If you have any pain or vaginal bleeding, come see me immediately. If all is going well, I¡¯d like to see you in a month or so, which would put you around twelve weeks. That would put us on August 28, but I can go back or forward to the next Saturday if that¡¯s easier for you? I know it¡¯ll be easier in the school year to stick to Saturdays. I normally don¡¯t do Saturday appointments but you¡¯re special- don¡¯t let that go to your head Lord Black.¡±
¡°Oh fuck off, McKinnon. Saturday before sounds good. It¡¯s muggle born camp that week. Oh what about wizarding travel, animagus stuff, and the full moon?¡±
¡°Okay, you should be able to apparate and use the floo since you¡¯re experienced in both. It¡¯s not recommended to younger people since they have less experience, but you¡¯ve been apparating for over fifteen years. No flying and no padfoot! We have no idea what that could do to a fetus so I¡¯m not willing to risk it. The full moons should be fine. Remus is on wolfsbane and his wolf instincts would probably protect you and the baby anyway. I honestly would highly advise you to continue to stay with him. I talked to Danny and he said it would calm the wolf- even with Remus¡¯ human mind.¡±
¡°I- okay, wow I¡¯m actually having a baby holy shit. Okay! Wow.¡±
¡°Congratulations love. I¡¯m so happy for you! Now go relax, get those vitamins, And watch some EastEnders! Oh and if you¡¯re nauseous try eating light and frequent meals and snacks. My patients find peppermint tea helpful. If it gets bad, contact me. You need nutrition to keep yourself healthy¡±
¡°Okay, I¡¯ll see you in a week for Harry¡¯s party then again on the 21st for more poking and prodding, you sadistic tosser.¡± Sirius pulled her into a tight hug. ¡°Thank you,¡± he murmured.
After another trip to Tesco, Sirius walked down the Soho street deep in thought. Pregnant. This was real? There was a life growing inside of him.
The last six months had been brutal. Going off testosterone, meticulously tracking ovulations, genetic testing, and the seemingly endless negative pregnancy tests. The anxiety all seemed to melt away as he walked down the street clutching the first pictures of his baby. Although it looked like something from ET, it was proof.
He stopped dead in his tracks. In the adjacent shoe store¡¯s window was the tiniest pair of boots he had ever seen. He had imagined telling Remus, but those plans went out the window as he entered the store and purchased the newborn sized shoes. He knew it was impractical¡ªwho actually puts shoes on a baby?¡ªbut it was a symbol. An adorable symbol that would look great on a Christmas tree. As he walked into their two bedroom flat in Soho that they kept for summers in London, he smiled to himself. He summoned a piece of parchment, wrote a note and tied it to the tiny boots. After placing them in Remus¡¯ chocolate stash, he sat down, popped in the VHS recording of his guilty pleasure telly and waited.