Description: It came in a postcard.¡°Your brother has died,¡± it read.
Characters: Major Character DeathRegulus Black & Sirius Black Sirius Black/Remus Lupin Minor or Background Relationship(s)Sirius Black Regulus Black Remus Lupin James Potter Lily Evans Potter Albus DumbledoreGrief/Mourning Five Stages of Grief wolfstar Minor Jily Minor Dorlene POV Sirius Black POV Remus Lupin Marauders Marauders Era (Harry Potter) Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter) First War with Voldemort Angst Hurt/Comfort Emotional Hurt/Comfort Hopeful Ending Anger Sirius Black Needs a Hug Sad and Happy Angst and Hurt/Comfort Heavy Angst Alternate Universe – Canon Divergence Sad Sirius Black Regulus Black-centric Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin Brotherhood Black Family-centric (Harry Potter) Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship Young Sirius Black Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship Manipulative Albus Dumbledore Good Regulus Black Heartbreaking I Made Myself Cry
It came in a postcard.¡°Your brother has died,¡± it read. His brother was dead. And all he got was a fucking postcard. ¡ªAs the war loomed in the background, Regulus Black had been recruited to the death eaters by his family. In a secret, scribbled letter to his older brother he tells him of his plans to be a spy. His loss is the first to shatter the Marauders and Sirius Black must learn to live in a world where his baby brother no longer does.A study in grief, told in eight parts.?*non canon compliant though set roughly at the same time bc fuck jkr.
guys, this will be HEAVY. please please read only with that in mind and to be kind to yourself. overall trigger warning for loss and the dark, often hidden side of grief.
Chapter 1: SHOCK.
One year since the war effort began.
On days like these, it was easy to forget that there was a war looming on the horizon with their names written across the front lines. It was a sunny day on the coast of southern Wales, where they¡¯d all come to get away after graduating Hogwarts. The waves lapped gently against the coastline and the sun beat down on their backs, warming the sand beneath them. It was magical and peaceful in every sense of the word.?Dumbledore had insisted the four of them stay behind for a while, get them properly instated in the Order of the Phoenix but only Peter and the other three girls had remained in Scotland. James had insisted the January loss of his parents had taken too great a toll on him and he needed a holiday after school. So holiday they did; hikes along the coastline, visits to the muggle bars, swimming until their stomachs rumbled. Today the four of them lay on the beach of Remus¡¯ mum¡¯s summer cottage, giggling as the wind blew through their salty hair.??Lily sat in James¡¯ lap, and Sirius in Remus¡¯ and the young Black thought that if they could just stay there forever, the four of them, alone and hopelessly, sickeningly in love, then he¡¯d be happy. Really, truly happy. He¡¯d only ever felt this peace a few times in his life. Fleeting moments he chased after to hold on to for hope.??Of course, they were only out here because it was James¡¯ and Lily¡¯s last day. According to his best friend, they¡¯d spent too long away from the action and he¡¯d promised Dumbledore they¡¯d return. There were empty seats in the Order with their names written on them, after all. The righteous bastard.?Remus and Sirius would eventually go back. Sometime after the full moon, perhaps. Maybe later. Neither of them felt an alliance to the world that had taken everything from them and they were in no rush. But it would happen. After summer, maybe. Just not today.??¡°Alright,¡± James spoke, pulling Sirius from his happy thoughts and causing a frown to paint its way across his pursed lips. He knew what would come next. A goodbye he would never be ready for. He hadn¡¯t lived apart from the Potter boy since before the fall of 1976.??¡°Please, not yet.¡± His shoulder length hair swept into his eyes with the soft sea breeze and by the time he¡¯d managed to control the unruly locks, both Lily and James were standing and Remus was nudging him from his lap. ¡°Aw, come on. It¡¯s hardly noon and you¡¯re only going to apparate.¡±?¡°Actually, we were going to take the train to London. See some more of the countryside,¡± Lily explained lightly, reaching down to take Remus¡¯ hand in hers and hoist the tall boy up. ¡°Up you go, Sirius. You¡¯ll want to walk us to the platform, won¡¯t you?¡±?He would have protested. He should have protested. Asked James to stay just a night longer. The couple was always going to leave before the full moon, not wanting to leave Lily alone in the house for the night, but they shouldn¡¯t have needed to leave so early. But he¡¯d only nodded and walked them to the platform, one shaky hand grasping Remus¡¯ for comfort and the other hidden in the pocket of his muggle jeans. Sirius hadn¡¯t been stubborn enough. He¡¯d given Lily a tight hug and the bouquet of pressed flowers he¡¯d made over the last few weeks before turning to James and burying his head in his second brother¡¯s shoulder. He¡¯d whispered I love you and I¡¯ll see you soon and please visit again until his boyfriend practically pried him away and held him tightly as the pair boarded, despite all the lingering glares in their direction.??He should have gotten on the train with them. He should have taken Remus and visited London with the others. He should have done something. Because all that was waiting for him and Remus at the cottage was a postcard from their former headmaster.??—–?¡°Hey, Padfoot! Dumbledore has sent you something,¡± Remus¡¯ pretty voice rang over the sound of David Bowie¡¯s Rebel Rebel spinning on the record player.??¡°Hmm?¡± Sirius asked as he swung himself around the doorframe and bounded over to his boyfriend. Upon taking the square of cardboard from Remus, he whispered the coded charm that would allow him to see the true contents. On the front was a still of the glittering Loch Lomond, soft waves rippling across the surface. ¡°A muggle postcard?¡± he mused aloud as Remus wrapped his strong arms around his shoulders from behind, tugging him gently into his chest.??¡°That¡¯s strange. Turn it over perhaps?¡±??Sirius flipped the card over and stared at the blank note space, utterly lost. He whispered the charm again and waited. Finally, after a painful moment of suspense, Dumbledore¡¯s familiar scrawling script began writing across the page. Turning his face upwards to look at Remus, a curious look crossed his face at the one that his boyfriend held; one of distress. ¡°Did you know he was writing?¡±?¡°Baby, I think you better go on and read it.¡± His grip tightened ever so softly, making Sirius feel safe even as his heart rate spiked at Remus¡¯ tone.??Clearing his throat, Sirius took the postcard and held it out in front of him. In his best intimidation of the headmaster, he began reading. ¡°Dear Sirius Black, it is with a heavy heart that I write this letter to you. I wish I could have provided this information in person, or even with a patronus, but I fear for you and Mr. Lupin¡¯s safety as well as the confidentiality of this information. It will reveal itself to only you and only while in your hands¡ª¡± he paused his dramatic reading, false tone falling as his eyes flicked to the end sentence. No. Focus.??¡°It has come to our attention a loss that will greatly affect you. You are the first to know and will be one of the very few to possess this knowledge, at least before the Daily Prophet gets their hands on it. A note has been sent to your cousin Andromeda Black Tonks as well.¡± he broke off again, beginning to hyperventilate as his eyes wouldn¡¯t stay where he was. Damned Dumbledore and his wordiness in all the wrong places. Remus¡¯ thumb ran gently on his shoulder and his chin came to rest atop Sirius¡¯ hair. It didn¡¯t help. Nothing helped. He knew what was coming.?Sirius¡¯ voice broke as he continued, the usual honey-like smoothness fading to a rasp as he held back tears. ¡°I will preface this announcement by letting you know that you have a momentary leave of absence from the Order, but all of us are here to support you through this time¡ª bullshit,¡± Sirius broke in, tears pricking at his eyes, turning the horrible letter into a blurry landscape. ¡°Bull. Shit.¡±?¡°We have no further details other than what is in this letter at this time. With all things said, it is to my great sorrow that I inform you that¡ your brother has been killed. ¡±??Despite Remus¡¯ best efforts to hold him tight enough to keep him from falling, Sirius slipped through his arms and crashed to his knees roughly on the cold tile floor. His lungs heaved with sobs, burned with screams, emptied as he choked on his own breath.??It came in a postcard.?His baby brother was dead. And all he got was a fucking postcard.