Fanfic: To Live, Not Just Survive by DaniBelle (Free to read, 564,411Clicks)


Severus Snape died in May of 1998. He received quite the shock when he was greeted in the afterlife by the infamous Death, who offered him a second chance at life. The only condition? He was forbidden to interfere with the British magical world until one Harry Potter attended Hogwarts. Let’s see where life decides to take our favorite snarky Potions master.


Creator Chose Not To Use Archive WarningsSeverus Snape/Sebastian Bonet (OC) James Potter/Lily Evans Potter Sirius Black/Remus Lupin Original Female Character/Original Male CharacterOriginal Characters Severus Snape James Potter Lily Evans Potter Remus Lupin Sirius Black Albus Dumbledore Hogwarts Staff Hogwarts StudentsSeverus Snape-centric Time Travel Time Travel Fix-It Lily Evans Potter Bashing James Potter Bashing Sirius Black Bashing Remus Lupin Bashing Albus Dumbledore Bashing Manipulative Albus Dumbledore Background Relationships Alternate Universe Lightside Bashing Romance Eventual mpreg Severus Snape Leaves Britain Severus Snape deserved better Severus makes friends Protective Sebastian Bonet Found Family James Potter Lives Lily Evans Potter Lives No Beta Severus Snape Has a Heart Out of Character OOC



Severus Snape died in May of 1998. He received quite the shock when he was greeted in the afterlife by the infamous Death, who offered him a second chance at life. The only condition? He was forbidden to interfere with the British magical world until one Harry Potter attended Hogwarts. Let’s see where life decides to take our favorite snarky Potions master.


WARNING: PLEASE READ THE TAGS. THANK YOU!I was inspired by reading many fanfics with these tags and wanted to add a work of my own. I love Harry Potter fan tropes so much. I also Love Severus Snape. I haven’t outlined this story, as usual, so I’ll be rolling with the flow.DISCLAIMERAll of the original characters mentioned within this story are my own, unless stated otherwise. All recognizable characters, places, and media are the property of their respective copyright owners.Ain’t no beta here to save me! 😛 (My new catchphrase lol),Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.),Notes:

When I began writing the prologue, drunk Severus didn’t exist until I started devouring chocolate drops. I had fun writing this. I’m happy if just one person enjoyed it. Kudos if you like it and comment if you wanna. Ciao!

Chapter 1: Prologue pt 1

Chapter Text

Severus Snape had emerged from Headmaster Dumbledore’s office in a daze. The normally disdainful expression was absent from its usual spot atop the surly Potions master’s thin, sallow face. 
If one were to blink, they would have missed the flash of fear that appeared in its place before Severus swiftly concealed it behind a neutral mask. He was grateful no one was around to witness him in his moment of weakness. 
He’d rather not be caught in such a state by the annoying little blighters he called students. They already, at most, hated him, and at the very least, disliked him, no need to add fuel to the fire.
Severus’s mind was in complete disarray. He learned many truths this night and was unsure what his future actions should be. In a matter of seconds, several plans formulated themselves inside his mind. They all clamored for attention but, the majority of them ended up discarded after careful examination. 
He wasn’t surprised at the newly revealed plans of the vaunted leader of the so-called light. The man had always been a cruel, manipulative bastard in Severus’s eyes. After all, this was the man who allowed one of his tormentors, Sirius Black, to receive what was comparable to a slap on the wrist for attempted murder in their 5th year. And in that same instance, made Severus swear to secrecy to protect Remus Lupin as if Severus gave a damn about him. 
The wolf was just as guilty as Potter and Black in Severus’s opinion for not stopping the bullying when he saw it before the Shrieking Shack incident ever came to fruition. The wolf was a bloody Prefect and did nothing. Not even when he was almost sexually harassed by Potter and Black in that same year in front of a crowd of jeering students.
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and heaved a mournful sigh of misery. Unable to conceal the turmoil swimming within his obsidian orbs, he lowered his head as he made his way down to the dungeons. 
He seriously needed a drink if he was going to continue this trek down memory lane. Thankfully curfew had long since passed, so he doubted he’d run across any of his colleagues or students at this hour. But just in case, he moved at a brisk pace, steps quick but not enough to be considered a run if seen.
As soon as the portrait shut behind him, Severus tossed up a few protective wards, then trudged over to the couch, mentally exhausted, and collapsed onto the plush cushioning.
As Severus leaned back against the many throw pillows scattered around the couch, he sunk further into his previous thoughts, gaze locked on the fireplace. HE THEN stared into the fire’s crackling flames, memories flooding his mind. 
He lifted a hand to rub at his aching chest, “why do they always have to be about her?” hE MUTTERED.
 His sweet Lily.
Severus summoned a bottle of fire whisky out of the cabinet and uncorked it with slightly trembling fingers. As the scent of potent liquor drifted into his nostrils, a tiny bit of tension bled from his form. 
As he tossed his head backward, he chugged the entire bottle in one go, reveling, for just a moment, in the sweet burn of the liquor as it traveled down the narrow pathway of his throat, and settled into his stomach, leaving him with a feeling of warmth deep in his belly. Unaware of the single tear that slid from the corner of his eye, disappearing into the oily locks of raven hair without a trace, as if it was never there.
If Severus was honest with himself, which he could only be when he was intoxicated, he would admit that Lily Evans was never a true friend when it came to him. 
A true friend doesn’t ignore your abusive home life in favor of asking about magic. 
A true friend doesn’t chastise you for every decision you make simply because it goes against what they perceive as morally correct, while in the next breath diminishing one of your main bully’s actions, which were just as bad, if not worse since Severus only wanted to protect himself. 
A true friend would’ve never expected him to avoid his housemates because she didn’t approve of them while barely making an effort to defend him against her own new friends who, remind you, didn’t like him because of his house and looks.
A true friend wouldn’t have told you to be grateful that your worst enemy saved your life without knowing, or attempting to find out what happened to her supposed best friend. She didn’t even ask about his well-being. 
A true friend wouldn’t discard a friendship over one word said in an extremely distressful situation that wasn’t directly aimed at her person. Yes, he knew it was a horrid word to say but he immediately regretted it as soon as it passed his lips. Severus even spent weeks debasing himself in front of Gryffindors just to try and apologize
A true friend doesn’t abandon you like an old car for a newer, more appealing model when they feel your usefulness has run out.
And a true friend would never, EVER, tell you that they can’t “pretend” anymore because of a mistake you had made. One in which you had tried several times to atone for. He wondered if she knew what that statement implied? Because to him, it implied that she was never his friend from the start.
Severus knew he was a fool. He knew that Lily Evans was just as prejudiced and hypocritical as the rest of the order of the phoenix members, but he still loved her, deeply, unconditionally. That’s why her marriage to Potter cut so deep. Why, out of all of the options she had, why did it have to be James-bloody-Potter?
Why marry a man who spent their entire 7 years of schooling bullying him and then continued to do so long after they left Hogwarts?
“Was it his money? His looks?” Severus growled, summoning another bottle of whisky to repeat his previous actions.
“And that old goat,” He snarled, “That old goat had the nerve to use my love for Lily to guilt me into serving him.” 
Why did Dumbledore think Severus was supposed to feel obligated to protect a man who despised him and who he despised in equal measure? A life debt? Severus scoffed, “Potter never gave a damn about me. He only wanted to keep the cowardly wolf safe from any consequences.” 
And what did Dumbledore expect him to do to save the Potter spawn? If the brat was the child of prophecy, Severus wouldn’t have been able to do anything for him. 
“So why?”
Why was he wrong for wanting to save the life of the only person he ever loved besides his mother? 
If he had known what he knew now, he would’ve found a way to escape Britain altogether after that whole debacle in the 5th year. How wonderful would it have been to be away from the insane Dark Lord and his sycophants and the grand chess master masquerading as the benevolent grandfather figure of wizarding Britain? 
“It’s funny how the oh-so saintly icon of the light has arranged the death of a naive child, an orphan while at the same time giving the child false wishes of wellness.” 
Then, to hide the prophecy from the boy to whom it’s about and later on, expect the said boy to battle a wizard many years his senior, who has decades of magical knowledge and experience, with nothing but a Hogwarts education?
 Severus snorted, “Yeah, those are the actions of an arbiter of all things morally just.”
“And let’s not forget the Horcrux issue.” Severus’s lips turned downward, “Why didn’t Dumbledore inform me  as soon as he had suspicions about the Dark Lord making those foul objects?”  
“If Dumbledore was being truthful, he had suspicions the wizard made Horcruxes after the incident in the Potter brat’s 2nd year in the school.” Severus pondered, brow furrowing as he tapped a slender digit against his chin. 

When he thought back on it, after dumbledore had finished berating him for only seeking assistance in protecting Lily, the headmaster was far too confident of the Dark Lord’s return.
He stiffened suddenly, blood turning to ice at the realization. “He knew!” An almost animalistic growl left his throat as he let the realization settle into his mind. 
“I wonder how far back did he suspect?” 
Probably even before Lily and he left Hogwarts, or even earlier.
Severus sprung up from the couch and tossed the empty bottle of fire whisky at the wall, shattering it to pieces on impact.

“That… that rotten old bastard had known and gave not even an inkling that he had.” Not even to himself. Well… not until today. Severus deflated at that thought, shoulders slumping in defeat.
He wasn’t truly trusted.
He was  a double agent.
Just a spy for Dumbledore.
Just a pawn… 
No true value… 
Just a,
A pawn to be sacrificed for a more valuable piece when the time comes.
He felt sick.
He needed… He needed to take a bath.
Yes, a bath would do him some good.
He decided he would do as he was told. 
Follow all of the plans Dumbledore had informed him of this night.
And when it was time for him to die… 
He’d welcome death with open arms.
No more judgement
No more hatred.
No more suffering.
No more loneliness.
No more anxiety
No more pain.
Severus banished the mess he had made, then walked over to the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

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